Cultural Sensitivity

I’m the first to admit I don’t get it here sometimes. As I’ve mentioned in pervious posts the whole status and savings face thing doesn’t make much sense to me. I suppose no matter what country I live in it doesn’t make much sense to me.

Here it’s all about not what you have but what you are perceived to have. Whether it’s the clothes you wear, the words you use or how you interact with other people, everything is judged. Teachers here are incredibly respected members of the community.  That’s largely due to the poverty, history, that you are helping future generations and communities as a whole. So there are some pretty strict rules as to how you are meant to behave in order to keep up appearances.

One of the main things for me and for other volunteers that are coming over is what you wear. I must remain covered while at work and while in the community. Shoulders right down to my knees need to be covered. No nail polish. No make up and of course, no sexy clothing. Not that I think I own any and if I do I didn’t bring it. All things us women in the west use to make ourselves stand out and be noticed or pretty ourselves is a bit of a No No. Initially, I thought that was because I was working on a Pagoda site but now I’ve learnt that it’s just generally because I’m a teacher. They wanted me to wear a certain style of clothing when I first arrived and I fought it big time. The reason was because it wasn’t me. I’m happy to cover but I needed to do it in my own way instead of someone trying to make me Cambodian. I think there has to be a balance between getting western volunteers to become Cambodian and allowing the Cambodians to see that things are done differently in different cultures and what we find acceptable and unacceptable. I think a balance can be found while respecting each others cultures and personalities. So I remain covered but in a slightly different fashion I suppose.

I suppose my biggest thing about this status thing is how you are treated. You are treated a different way because of what job you do. It’s nice that everyone respects you but I want to be respected for me, because I’m a good, honest person. Not because I speak English and am a teacher.

I’m by no means saying that we don’t treat people differently because of their jobs. I couldn’t count the amount of times people have mistaken me for being stupid because I’m a PA. I suppose here though it’s more in your face and I’m on the other end of it. Also, if someone treats me like I’m stupid at home I can just ensure that everything takes a tiny wee bit longer than it needs to. (Yes I'm aware this blog is doing nothing for my CV!!)

I received some feedback this week which I suppose I didn’t take that easily. I was told that because I laugh and play with the children they do not respect me. That was a really bitter pill for me to swallow. I have very different beliefs about playing and laughing with the children. Anyone who spends 5mins with me knows that I laugh a hell of a lot. If I’m not laughing then generally something is wrong. It’s how I get through things. If I can laugh or make a joke about something it makes it a bit easier, especially when dealing with some really tough stuff. So this criticism was really tough for me.

I’m now at a bit of a loss and don’t know what to do. What things do you take on and what things do you not compromise on. For me to not laugh and play with the kids I’d kind of wonder why I’d be here. It doesn’t make much sense to me. It doesn’t allow me to have any connection with the kids, to understand them. Laughter and play for some of these children is the only language I have.

So as much as I need to be culturally sensitive I think I need to be met halfway. It’s just as important for them to understand how we communicate.

I suppose you could look at it in a different way. I think the kids actually do have a huge amount of respect for me. It’s just different to how they expect to be respected. I want the children to be comfortable enough to laugh and play with me.

I’ve had this situation for the last few weeks where the kids bring me things all the time. Pictures, key rings, pens. You name it. I’ve got it. I have no idea where the kids get this stuff from but they come in everyday and want to give me things. I have a mountain of pictures the kids have drawn. I’m not sure how I’m going to get any of these home. That to me is the kids being respectful, liking me being here and forming a bond.  I have a very different bond than the teachers do but that’s me all over.  I’ve even got one group of kids that like giving me stuff so much that they give me stuff out of the rubbish bin. These things get stashed in my handbag and I……deal……with them when I get home. 

Another part of holding it together and the status thing is you can’t ever get aggressive, you can’t ever behave like you don’t know something or admit that you don’t get it. That’s difficult.  Because quite often I throw my hands and say “I don’t get it. I don’t understand” but they don’t do it. I assume this doesn’t provide me with much respect from the adults but I want to learn, ask questions and I’m only 26. I don’t want to be arrogant enough to behave like I know everything cos I most certainly don’t.  

I was told today that you should never ask someone of the opposite sex, who appears to be around my age, how old they are. It’s rude in Cambodian. What I find most interesting is that EVERYONE wants to know my age and there is no shame in asking me. However, I was told if a single male asked me my age it would mean that he loved me and wanted to marry me. Phew ha!! That must mean I’ve received a lot of proposals and made a lot. If only love and relationships were that easy at home!!

As a man and a woman here you’re not allowed to touch at all. No one told me that when I got here. I suppose it’s cos they have not seen other ways of doing things so they didn’t think to tell me things like that. I obviously come from a good kiwi family and have older brothers. So rough and tumble is quite normal. I have a lot of guy mates and smack them around. I suppose it’s my way of showing that I like having them around. So I’ve done the same with all of the teachers, who are male. Smacked them round a bit, laughed at them, joked with them but little did I know that these things were all seen as sexual advances.

Yeah. I think I’m just constantly going to be getting into trouble here.

ps: Apologies that the links I provided for photos have not been working. I'm not sure what's happened but fingers crossed these ones work.

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.263051757046092.70027.100000238085236&l=7ac3dcfa35&type=1

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.252523831432218.68089.100000238085236&l=c0f1720393&type=1


https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.252520451432556.68087.100000238085236&l=299771b5cd&type=1